The Pain of Selfishness
I'm learning all the more that when we pursue our own selfish desires, we never end up with what we truly want.
My current role at Impact is as a counselor on the phones in the Partner Relations department. Everyday, I hear tragic stories where people sacrifice their entire lives for the quick fix of a high. Be it drugs, sex or bad relationships, people trap themselves from living what Jesus promised as "life more than abundant".
Throughout the writings of Christ we discover a multitude of paradoxes. "to find life, lay your life down"... "you must give to gain"... "I must decrease that He may increase"... "to be great is to be least"... "the first shall be last, the last shall be first".
In context of human psychology, the three greatest needs of man are:
1. Unconditional love
2. Knowing I'm not alone
3. A Sense of Value and Worth
Anything we do outside of God to meet these needs is a form of codependancy. Yet, our society, at large, is totally geared towards this kind of behavior... all advertisement exposes our "lack"... politicians spout of our need to have them take care of us... media compares the beautiful over the regular... etc, etc.
We live in a very "emotionally needy" society. So many people looking to take, few actually sacrificing to give.
The obviously "dirty" codependancies are drugs, alcohol, pornography and sex. But then there's the "clean" codependancies: Relationships, jobs, money, status, titles, education, spouses, afluence, clothing and social strata.
The irony is, the more I seek to fulfill my need through any of these codependancies, the more I find myself empty of this need. So, out of my pain, I follow a cycle of pain like a hamster on a wheel chasing for the ever elusive... all the while, my heart gets harder and harder. Calloused by my denial, perpetual persuits and guilt of failure.
I made a choice, two years ago, to face my "stuff". It hasn't been until now that I can actually understand what it was that I was doing... It's hard to see through chaos - blaming, shaming and gaming just to "protect" what I thought was important, my sense of being right, my ego or my pride. But now, I've found an incredible sense of clarity, wholeness.
It's peaceful, confident and alive. I kind like that feeling. I really like me I'm turning out to be.
My current role at Impact is as a counselor on the phones in the Partner Relations department. Everyday, I hear tragic stories where people sacrifice their entire lives for the quick fix of a high. Be it drugs, sex or bad relationships, people trap themselves from living what Jesus promised as "life more than abundant".
Throughout the writings of Christ we discover a multitude of paradoxes. "to find life, lay your life down"... "you must give to gain"... "I must decrease that He may increase"... "to be great is to be least"... "the first shall be last, the last shall be first".
In context of human psychology, the three greatest needs of man are:
1. Unconditional love
2. Knowing I'm not alone
3. A Sense of Value and Worth
Anything we do outside of God to meet these needs is a form of codependancy. Yet, our society, at large, is totally geared towards this kind of behavior... all advertisement exposes our "lack"... politicians spout of our need to have them take care of us... media compares the beautiful over the regular... etc, etc.
We live in a very "emotionally needy" society. So many people looking to take, few actually sacrificing to give.
The obviously "dirty" codependancies are drugs, alcohol, pornography and sex. But then there's the "clean" codependancies: Relationships, jobs, money, status, titles, education, spouses, afluence, clothing and social strata.
The irony is, the more I seek to fulfill my need through any of these codependancies, the more I find myself empty of this need. So, out of my pain, I follow a cycle of pain like a hamster on a wheel chasing for the ever elusive... all the while, my heart gets harder and harder. Calloused by my denial, perpetual persuits and guilt of failure.
I made a choice, two years ago, to face my "stuff". It hasn't been until now that I can actually understand what it was that I was doing... It's hard to see through chaos - blaming, shaming and gaming just to "protect" what I thought was important, my sense of being right, my ego or my pride. But now, I've found an incredible sense of clarity, wholeness.
It's peaceful, confident and alive. I kind like that feeling. I really like me I'm turning out to be.
I read this, and honestly I dont understand. Are you saying that SERVICE is a form of dependancy?
Posted by
CitizenDino |
Sun Feb 19, 11:28:00 PM 2006