Codependant Anonymous
During times when I felt so empty, I craved intimacy and love. Yet, I could not find it. Even when I was married or dating, there were so many times that I had this internal desire for something I wasn't experiencing.
But how could this be? I had "someone". I had a mate or a girlfriend. What more did I need???
I needed something no other person could give me.
Deep with in, I yearned for the experience of unconditional love, knowing I wasn't alone and knowing I had value. I've come to learn that these emotions are God given, even inspired. Yet, I so many times, sought the fulfilment of these deep seated emotions on an external level.
It's bizarre how a person can love another so very much one day and then completely detest them another. Yet, that's what happens when we seek a "person" as our fulfillment and not God. It's as if we try and draw close to this individual... closer and closer, only to find ourselves wanting, unfulfilled, disappointed, frustrated and burned out.
That's the essence of CODEPENDANCY... the story of my marriage. Two codependants tearing eachother to shreds even when they cared about eachother deeply. How retarded is that?
Once you can't get what you were trying to get, you try HARDER, start to manipulate and guilt the other into becoming someone you think will make you happy. When that doesn't work, you start looking elsewhere for the "fix".
Everytime you feel empty, you try for another fix... just like a druggie, an alcoholic or a sex addict. All of it is rooted in codependancy.
I have finally found fulfillment in someone I should have found a long time ago. His name is God. Only he builds self-worth, value and love. He is the root solution to all external problems. Until a person recognizes his/her love and value in God can they truly find wholeness. Only two whole people can make a healthy, happy relationship.
BTW, this is not "religion". That will turn into just as much of a codependant fix as anything.
Get to know the Creator. The one who formed you in your mother's womb and loves you just as you are.
But how could this be? I had "someone". I had a mate or a girlfriend. What more did I need???
I needed something no other person could give me.
Deep with in, I yearned for the experience of unconditional love, knowing I wasn't alone and knowing I had value. I've come to learn that these emotions are God given, even inspired. Yet, I so many times, sought the fulfilment of these deep seated emotions on an external level.
It's bizarre how a person can love another so very much one day and then completely detest them another. Yet, that's what happens when we seek a "person" as our fulfillment and not God. It's as if we try and draw close to this individual... closer and closer, only to find ourselves wanting, unfulfilled, disappointed, frustrated and burned out.
That's the essence of CODEPENDANCY... the story of my marriage. Two codependants tearing eachother to shreds even when they cared about eachother deeply. How retarded is that?
Once you can't get what you were trying to get, you try HARDER, start to manipulate and guilt the other into becoming someone you think will make you happy. When that doesn't work, you start looking elsewhere for the "fix".
Everytime you feel empty, you try for another fix... just like a druggie, an alcoholic or a sex addict. All of it is rooted in codependancy.
I have finally found fulfillment in someone I should have found a long time ago. His name is God. Only he builds self-worth, value and love. He is the root solution to all external problems. Until a person recognizes his/her love and value in God can they truly find wholeness. Only two whole people can make a healthy, happy relationship.
BTW, this is not "religion". That will turn into just as much of a codependant fix as anything.
Get to know the Creator. The one who formed you in your mother's womb and loves you just as you are.
